porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
The only requirement is that his name is Kevin... All other factors don't matter to drunk me. Drunk me likey Kevins.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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