I think i peed on brittanys purse
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
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