My friends, they love my intelligence
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I HAVE NEVER BEEN FRIENDZONED IN MY LIFE AND THIS GIRL IS GOING TO MAKE ME QUESTION EVERYTHING. LIKE A GODDAMN CUNT. A WONDERFUL, BEAUTIFUL, MAJESTIC, LESBIAN CUNT.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Randomize
