I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
i'm gonna crowd surf you onto his dick
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
