I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
