he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
