Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
