i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize