O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
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