dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
