Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Sober January is a disaster.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
When did angry sex become our thing?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
Randomize
