Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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