I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize