Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
She sucks. And I almost hooked up with a clown last night
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
