do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
