when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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