Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
