I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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