kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
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