He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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