So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Just watched someone fail a field sobriety test. Miserably. At 4:50p. I think it's my future husband
God bless him
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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