The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Randomize
