yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
Randomize
