what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
