She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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