people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
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