we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
Nicole vs. Life
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Randomize
