I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
