I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
