Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
