Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
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