yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Randomize
