Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
