he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
