im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
He felt like a one man threesome
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize