don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize
