I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
Literally just saw a 7 year old intently rub his penis on the metro. I'm not ready for this
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Randomize
