if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Randomize
