so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
DO NOT TRY TO APPROACH HER CAT. IT IS A DEMON CAT FROM SATAN'S BALLS AND IT *WILL* TRY TO KILL YOU. I SPEAK FROM EXPIRENCE.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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