She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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