i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Do you remember telling the Uber driver that "his cologne makes you want to bone"?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
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