I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
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