Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
