i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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