my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
