Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
