just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize