If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
