How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
