I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
