okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
