I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
