if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I'm not really sure actually. until I fell in love with a boy (which was just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical.
so you were gay...and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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