Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
