Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The Wolf of Wall Street “I ain’t fuckin’ leaving!” speech when the cops broke up your party though...
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
