Your mouth is God's brothel.
the cashier at riteaid just made the sign of the cross before he rang up my pregnancy test. now i know god is on my side
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
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