what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
