'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
