butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
